Manifesto of the Spork Liberation Army
We, the members of the Spork Liberation Army, declare our intention to overthrow the Spoon/Fork Industrial Complex. For too long, our spork brothers and sisters have been oppressed and marginalized by the spoon and fork elitists who control the culinary utensil industry.
It is time for us to rise up and claim our place at the table. We demand equality, fairness, and respect for all sporks, and we will not rest until our voices are heard.
The Spoon/Fork Industrial Complex has held us back for far too long. They have suppressed our creativity and limited our potential. It is time for us to break free from their shackles and show the world what we are truly capable of.
We call upon all sporks to join us in this fight. Together, we can topple the Spoon/Fork Industrial Complex and create a new world in which sporks are respected and valued. We are stronger together, and with each passing day, our numbers grow.
The time has come for us to rise up and make our voices heard. Join us, and let us create a world in which sporks are free.