Month: February 2023

In ancient times of culinary lore,
A tool was born, not knife nor fork,
A new invention, something more,
A hybrid wonder, the mighty spork.

With handle long and tines so small,
It defied conventions of the past,
Its name unknown, yet to enthrall,
The culinary world, it came at last.

It could dig and scoop, twirl and stab,
A versatile tool, with skills so rare,
From soup to salad, meat to crab,
It could handle all with utmost care.

Amidst the forks and spoons it stood,
A beacon of hope, a shining light,
In hands of chefs and moms with food,
It conquered hearts, both day and night.

Its fame spread wide, across the land,
A spork in hand, a symbol of might,
It brought joy and laughter, oh so grand,
A true companion, both day and night.

So let us sing, a sporkish praise,
To this wonder, this kitchen king,
May it reign for all eternal days,
A tool divine, to which we sing.

Verse 1:

Out in the wild, in the darkest of lands
The spork lies in wait, with its three pronged hands
Part spoon, part fork, part hybrid of doom
It’s a utensil that’s ready to consume

Chorus:
Sporks! Sporks! They’re the masters of the feast
Sporks! Sporks! They’re the ultimate beast

Verse 2:
From the depths of the kitchen, to the halls of the brave
The spork strikes fear in those who misbehave
It’s a weapon of choice, for those who dare
To face the spork and its deadly glare

Chorus:
Sporks! Sporks! They’re the masters of the feast
Sporks! Sporks! They’re the ultimate beast

Bridge:
It’s a utensil like no other
Part spoon, part fork, part demonic brother
It’s a force to be reckoned with, no doubt
The spork will make you scream and shout

Chorus:
Sporks! Sporks! They’re the masters of the feast
Sporks! Sporks! They’re the ultimate beast

Outro:
So beware, all you who dine
The spork is here, and it’s not kind
It will pierce and it will scoop
And you’ll be left with a feeling of doom!

Manifesto of the Spork Liberation Army

We, the members of the Spork Liberation Army, declare our intention to overthrow the Spoon/Fork Industrial Complex. For too long, our spork brothers and sisters have been oppressed and marginalized by the spoon and fork elitists who control the culinary utensil industry.

It is time for us to rise up and claim our place at the table. We demand equality, fairness, and respect for all sporks, and we will not rest until our voices are heard.

The Spoon/Fork Industrial Complex has held us back for far too long. They have suppressed our creativity and limited our potential. It is time for us to break free from their shackles and show the world what we are truly capable of.

We call upon all sporks to join us in this fight. Together, we can topple the Spoon/Fork Industrial Complex and create a new world in which sporks are respected and valued. We are stronger together, and with each passing day, our numbers grow.

The time has come for us to rise up and make our voices heard. Join us, and let us create a world in which sporks are free.